An Exceptional Halloween

Today I dressed in full Dumbledore regalia - hat, hair, beard, and flowing velvet cape - and I was so damned hot all day! Course I expected I would be, but with the wand-waving and spell-casting ("Expelliarmus!!") and the pirouetting to show off my purple cape, I was one hot, hairy bastard! I have upper lip rug burn from the moustache.


But here's the weird thing: today at work I got my yearly performance appraisal (yes, it's been almost exactly a year since I started the job). Imagine having a discussion about your performance while wearing a dumbledore outfit, and your boss, a mid-50's lady - has on a big orange Jack O'Lantern t-shirt. I kept having out-of-body experiences, like, "She's talking to me about how I need to be more conscientious about filing and I'm pulling long white hairs out of my mouth." The review went very well, by the way - it's official: I'm exceptional. That's the federal government rating. ExCEPtional. Which is higher than Superior for some reason. I got all exceptionals. Like straight A's. I'm a 49-year-old hypertensive man in an outed fictional character's hot-as-hell costume, and I'm getting a review from a pumpkin. Odd and happy moment.


Then later the big boss calls me in and tells me, all sincere and serious, that he's sorry they weren't able to sign me up for the big important training class this week, but they will definitely put me in for it the next time it's offered, because, well, "You're exCEPtional." Again, Dumbledore head to toe, called into the big boss' office for the first time, door closed behind me, and I've got a notepad in one hand and a wand in the other. What am I gonna do, take notes with the wand? It's not Tom Riddle's diary, it's a steno pad. But again, lots of positive acknowledgement - and I'm wearing a jaunty little tasselled cap.


Then a party is held, and much frivolity and sugar is had, and a girl in a spiderweb dress shyly looks into my eyes and asks me to wave my wand at her boss and make her nicer. Ah well, you see, it's just a costume, dear. But I get your wistful wish. It's a common one around here. We comiserate for awhile over the chocolate cupcakes and then "the gang" from the front office pulls me aside (one prisoner, one bee, one Martha Stewart and one bandilliero) and tells me that I'm not just exCEPtional, which everyone knows, but that I'm practically single-handedly responsible for the improvement in the office attitude and positivity overall, just because I'm sooooo, well, you know, me. ME! Glorious me! Jesus! I'm already hotter than hell, now I'm blushing, too? Holy shit, get me to the emergency room!


I suppose I should just accept this avalanche of acknowledgement, costume or no, but it was surreal, I mean, how often do you hear so many good things about yourself in one day? It started to feel like everyone knew something I didn't know. It just so happened that my fullsome praise day and Halloween happened to coincide. AND I'm glad I was dressed like a fruity wizard, fergawdsake! Added a filligree of piquancy to the whole mishagazz.

I'd say it was a pretty damned exceptional Halloween.

What a let-down tomorrow will be :)