Four more days of teaching English, then it's reading tarot full time. Jesus.
I've gotten a jump start on my fabulous new career by doing a few hours of reading every evening, just to get in the swing of it. The good news is it pays well - about twice what I've been making. The bad news is, I get all these people who ask me impossible-to-answer questions like, "When is he going to call me?" I'm always tempted to say, "Thursday at 7:14 pm." But what I usually say is something along the lines of, "Time is a human conceit and the universe does not obey strict time and space grids placed by man upon existence." How's that, Carl Sagan? Another good one is, "I cannot say, because the thoughts and feelings and experiences the two of you have between now and then may change the outcome, not to mention the impact of the thoughts and feelings and experiences of everyone else on the planet." I supose that's better than, "How the hell should I know, lady? Who do you think I am, Jennifer Love Hewitt? If I knew detaily crap like that I wouldn't be wasting my time sending out a hundred resumes and cover letters for jobs that have already been pre-selected, now would I? I'd just lift up the phone and tell my soon-to-be employer that I'll be able to start on Monday and require a kick-ass 401-K."
Actually, I'm a hoot during a tarot reading. Chatty, uplifting and insightful as hell. Need to know what numbers to play in next week's Lotto? I'll tell ya. (11-19-31-43-52-60. These are the numbers to play, they may not be the winning numbers, but . . . ) Need to hear soothing words from the grandma who died last year? No prob. (She sends her love, she's smiling, there's a little tear in her eye, and she says everything is really nice where she is now - lots of flowers.) Wanna know what the future holds? Easy - there's gonna be a few bumps and bruises along the way, but eventually the sun is shining for you, little darlin. Keep your chins up, sweetie. It's all gonna be all right - your luck is changing and the angels are smiling down on you. You are a special special person, the Universe recognizes that, and there's every reason to be optimistic about the future.
Well, I'm right, aren't I?
1 comment:
You are a hoot, Stevie. Sounds like a good way to earn some $$$ until that great job comes along, and it will.
I had a friend who worked the sex hotline thing. She said it was boring. Tarot reading sounds a lot more interesting. What were those numbers....
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