The cover story in this week's Newsweek is all about Anorexia. In page after page, parents, doctors and anorexics fret about whether the disease is caused by genetics, society, brain chemistry, or something else - - - but NEVER is the issue of self-esteem broached. Why doesn't any sort of self-destructive behavior trigger this question: is the person feeling bad about themselves? Have we really persuaded ourselves that depression and alcoholism and obesity and anorexia and self-mutilation and overspending are diseases that have NOTHING to do with the person's mental state? Why is this taboo?
I understand the value of labeling certain behavior a disease in order for the person exhibiting the behavior not to feel blame or fault. But there's a third choice - a fundamental piece of the self-esteem puzzle, missing or deficient, that allows all the chemical, societal and genetic influencers to take root.
Yes, my mother was obese. Yes, of course, I have a predisposition to obesity. She also had a cracked self-esteem, and I believe with all my heart that if she had been able to instill in me a healthy self-esteem, I would care too much about myself to become as obese as I did. But she didn't have that capability. First came her belief that she was unloveable; then came her eating problem.
Here's a paragraph from the Newsweek article that looks at the idea of brain chemistry as a cause of anorexia:
Scientists are tracking important differences in the brain chemistry of anorexics. Using brain scans, researchers at the University of Pittsburgh, led by professor of psychiatry Dr. Walter Kaye, discovered that the level of serotonin activity in the brains of anorexics is abnormally high. Although normal levels of serotonin are believed to be associated with feelings of well-being, these pumped-up levels of hormones may be linked to feelings of anxiety and obsessional thinking, classic traits of anorexia. Kaye hypothesizes that anorexics use starvation as a mode of self-medication. How? Starvation prevents tryptophane, an essential amino acid that produces serotonin, from getting into the brain. By eating less, anorexics reduce the serotonin activity in their brains, says Kaye, "creating a sense of calm," even as they are about to die of malnutrition.
Well guess what, Dr. Kaye: if you're trying to be self-destructive, and you succeed by not eating (or purging), you create a sense of calm. You're fulfilling your sub-conscious expectation for yourself, and you are calmer. Anxiety comes from doing something that is counter to your self-destruction.
I would be anxious and obsessional before I binged, and I would be calm after I binged.
When I dieted (i.e., did something good for myself), I felt anxious and obsessional. The more weight I lost (i.e., the more I did good things for myself), the more anxious I became, until I'd finally succumb to the pull toward self-destruction and find the calm that came with bingeing.
A heroin addict has a chemical dependency on heroin. A heroin addict also has a dependency on self-destructive behavior. As the space between hits grows, the addict becomes more and more anxious, fretful, obsessional. Then comes the hit, the brain is flooded with both endorhpins and self-destruction, and calm ensues.
I was addicted to self-destruction.
Every part of my being pulled me to behavior that was hurtful to my present and my future.
I could diet so long as I overspent or smoked pot or engaged in some other self-destructive behavior.
It's like a leak in your oil tank. You can add oil by the quart, get the car washed, replace the radiator, clean the spark plugs, disconnect the air conditioner, park the car in a garage, drive it 1000 miles a day or not at all - that oil leak is gonna get ya. It's pulling you inexorably to a crisis.
Newsweek is talking about a ten million dollar grant to study brain chemistry of anorexics. Can I make a suggestion? Take those 140 (or whatever) anorexics and do an honest, forthright, non-judgmental appraisal of their self-esteem. Ask them in-depth questions about when they felt good about themselves and when they didn't feel good about themselves. See whether their mothers and fathers have high self-esteem. See whether their mothers and fathers have the tools to instill in their children the core belief that they are loveable. Ask them to look in the mirror and say, "I love and approve of myself," then see what their reaction is. Ask them if they've ever done something that they haven't forgiven themselves for. Find out what other behaviors they've exhibited that are self-destructive. Find out what came first - the low self-esteem or the anorexia.
Okay, fellas?
I understand the value of labeling certain behavior a disease in order for the person exhibiting the behavior not to feel blame or fault. But there's a third choice - a fundamental piece of the self-esteem puzzle, missing or deficient, that allows all the chemical, societal and genetic influencers to take root.
Yes, my mother was obese. Yes, of course, I have a predisposition to obesity. She also had a cracked self-esteem, and I believe with all my heart that if she had been able to instill in me a healthy self-esteem, I would care too much about myself to become as obese as I did. But she didn't have that capability. First came her belief that she was unloveable; then came her eating problem.
Here's a paragraph from the Newsweek article that looks at the idea of brain chemistry as a cause of anorexia:
Scientists are tracking important differences in the brain chemistry of anorexics. Using brain scans, researchers at the University of Pittsburgh, led by professor of psychiatry Dr. Walter Kaye, discovered that the level of serotonin activity in the brains of anorexics is abnormally high. Although normal levels of serotonin are believed to be associated with feelings of well-being, these pumped-up levels of hormones may be linked to feelings of anxiety and obsessional thinking, classic traits of anorexia. Kaye hypothesizes that anorexics use starvation as a mode of self-medication. How? Starvation prevents tryptophane, an essential amino acid that produces serotonin, from getting into the brain. By eating less, anorexics reduce the serotonin activity in their brains, says Kaye, "creating a sense of calm," even as they are about to die of malnutrition.
Well guess what, Dr. Kaye: if you're trying to be self-destructive, and you succeed by not eating (or purging), you create a sense of calm. You're fulfilling your sub-conscious expectation for yourself, and you are calmer. Anxiety comes from doing something that is counter to your self-destruction.
I would be anxious and obsessional before I binged, and I would be calm after I binged.
When I dieted (i.e., did something good for myself), I felt anxious and obsessional. The more weight I lost (i.e., the more I did good things for myself), the more anxious I became, until I'd finally succumb to the pull toward self-destruction and find the calm that came with bingeing.
A heroin addict has a chemical dependency on heroin. A heroin addict also has a dependency on self-destructive behavior. As the space between hits grows, the addict becomes more and more anxious, fretful, obsessional. Then comes the hit, the brain is flooded with both endorhpins and self-destruction, and calm ensues.
I was addicted to self-destruction.
Every part of my being pulled me to behavior that was hurtful to my present and my future.
I could diet so long as I overspent or smoked pot or engaged in some other self-destructive behavior.
It's like a leak in your oil tank. You can add oil by the quart, get the car washed, replace the radiator, clean the spark plugs, disconnect the air conditioner, park the car in a garage, drive it 1000 miles a day or not at all - that oil leak is gonna get ya. It's pulling you inexorably to a crisis.
Newsweek is talking about a ten million dollar grant to study brain chemistry of anorexics. Can I make a suggestion? Take those 140 (or whatever) anorexics and do an honest, forthright, non-judgmental appraisal of their self-esteem. Ask them in-depth questions about when they felt good about themselves and when they didn't feel good about themselves. See whether their mothers and fathers have high self-esteem. See whether their mothers and fathers have the tools to instill in their children the core belief that they are loveable. Ask them to look in the mirror and say, "I love and approve of myself," then see what their reaction is. Ask them if they've ever done something that they haven't forgiven themselves for. Find out what other behaviors they've exhibited that are self-destructive. Find out what came first - the low self-esteem or the anorexia.
Okay, fellas?
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