Oh my schnorkel

Well, the dreaded thing has happened - my sweet, charming, dynamic new boss lady turns out to be a MI-CRO-MAN-A-GER of the first order. They could use her picture on the cover of Micromanager Monthly. She's crazy, I'm tellin' ya!

Just one little example: She asked me to draft a few form letters to send to people who make it into the "moving up" column in the business section of the newspaper, you know, "Sarah Jones has been promoted to Assistant Manager of the Hallmark Card Shop at the Maplewood Mall." Set aside for a moment the futility of this idea as a way to raise funds for the children's hospital. Set aside for a moment the likelihood that a letter of this kind will result in a donation. We met for almost an hour initially so she could thoroughly explain her concept. She went through the entire column, sharing ideas and strategies for each person specific to their business (e.g., "Here's a woman who has opened a day spa. Maybe we could suggest she donate bottles of lotion to people undergoing radiation treatment or something!") I managed not to roll my eyes and went away thinking I grasped generally what she wanted. I wrote some good letters. That was two weeks ago. We are now onto the FIFTH draft of this damned thing and I swear, I've logged about 10 hours of draftin' and discussin' on this project alone!

I have since learned that, in an office of 7 people, there have been 9 departures in the 18 months this woman has been manager! People leave in one of two ways - either they quit in disgust after their first three months on the job (those are the smart ones) or they're maneuvered out the door by impossible-to-please Mommie after they reach the breaking point and start to either take charge (oooh, Mommie hates that!) or zone out (oooh, Mommie REALLY hates that!).

Tragically, she keeps trying to "solve" the problem of a tuned-out, burned-out staff by throwing micromanagment solutions at us: endless staff meetings (conducted like group therapy), endless individual meetings, daily status reports, coach-led teambuilding sessions, pep talks, and an avalanche of structure, until everyone is running around like chickens. And any actual work that is done is stymied by Mommie's persnickety changes, suggestions, revisions, questions, requirements for approvals, general interference. It's dismaying. We're completely hobbled. These are some good people here, trying to keep cheerful and productive, in the wake of a torrent of time-wasting, confidence-breaking, energy-sapping crap.

Now here's the tragic part: aside from the number of careers that have been derailed and ulcers this person has caused, millions of dollars in funds to support the children's hospital are NOT being raised because all this time and effort is being wasted on unproductive effort.

Soooooo . . . as I've been trying to adjust to things on my new job, just 45 days into it, and hoping somehow that I could fix things (now I understand it's completely futile and even self-sabotaging to try to help), I'm getting calls for more interviews, from jobs I applied for months ago. And I went on an interview yesterday.

The prospective boss lady is the complete polar opposite. Sixty-ish, sharp, confident, wearing a necklace of stainless steel pearls (!), self-described as curt and demanding, but a real "handle it" type who stressed she wants a take-charge, self-starting person who can jump in, do the job, use common sense, take on as much responsibility as they can, and not need any damned babysitting, because she's enormously busy. Pure heaven! I feel like Bill Murray in Little Shop of Horrors, delighted to have found the dentist/sadist of his dreams. "Candy Bar! Candy Bar!"

And I thought, "Be careful what you wish for, young man, because you just might get it."

I wished for a "nice, friendly" boss. And that's what I got. And now I realize I asked for the wrong thing.

I want a hands-off manager I can respect, who gives me tons of latitude to get the job done, someone who respects common sense, who knows what they want, who's bright and capable and tough in the ways a boss needs to be, and in the end, who appreciates my capability and rewards me accordingly, if infrequently, with a curt but honest, "Good job."

Besides which, if this job comes through, it's $20 K more a year, and I fall back into the federal lap of benefit luxury - 26 days of vacation time (because of my tenure) plus 10 federal holidays a year, almost a year of accumulated sick leave balance reinstated from my previous years in federal service, and a retirement package beyond imagining compared to the 401-K bullcrap people have to accept these days.

Now, if I don't get the job, I'm prepared to cope with the current situation. I just ordered a book from Amazon on how to deal with a micromanager.

But I sure have learned a lesson: ASK about the boss' management style during the interview. If I had, I might not have gotten the truth, but maybe there might have been some eye-rolling by the "peer interviewers" when Mommie said, "Oh, I like to give people the opportunity - and the space - to excel at what they do!!"