I have a dream

"Don't you know that billions of dollars are spent annually on advertizing to make you feel bad about yourselves so that you'll take your hard-earned money and spend it on some turnaround cream that doesn't turn around shit." - Margaret Cho

I want to state for the record that I hereby refuse to have my self-esteem pummeled by pop culture and the advertizing machine that's out to steal my money.

You've got rock-hard abs? Well, I've got rock-hard self-esteem.

My self-esteem is as wrinkle-free as a baby's ass.
My self-esteem is as stunningly gorgeous as Hollywood's hottest star.
My self-esteem is as encrusted with diamonds as an MC's most ostentatious bling.
My self-esteem is as pure and fresh as the sweetest little seedling poking its head out of the rich brown earth.
My self-esteem is as mighty and unshakable as Mount Everest.
My self-esteem is more powerful than a locomotive.
My self-esteem is faster than a speeding bullet.
My self-esteem is able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.

My self-esteem sings like Streisand, dances like Barishnokov, paints like daVinci, sculpts like Michaelangelo, writes like Shakespeare, and inspires like Ghandhi.

My self-esteem supports me like a solid steel foundation.
My self-esteem lifts me like a Saturn rocket.
My self-esteem leads me like the brightest, whitest beam of light.
My self-esteem cuts through all that may want to tear it down like the strongest laser beam.
My self-esteem melts away obstacles.
My self-esteem builds bridges to anywhere I want to go.