Hello -- does any woman out there love her body?
It seems not. I suspect every woman has a list of things she perceives as flaws. Even those considered physically perfect in an image-conscious society -- the supermodels and movie stars -- complain about their bodies. They say they have cellulite, or their hips are too big, or breasts too small.
So what chance do mere everyday women have with body self esteem? Even those who try to focus on this mostly female obsession and make us more comfortable about our bodies miss the point.
Look at the Dove TV advertising campaign featuring women who announce the part of their body they hate most and then display it. Far from making us feel more relaxed about our own body faults, the ad confirms how important body perfection is and then reinforces the basically negative message by brutally focusing on the "flaws."
Such indoctrination about female body perfection, even if well meant, is insidious in society today.
It becomes even more acute as women age. Since the "perfect" female body by today's ridiculous standards is probably that of a skinny 12-year-old girl, millions of women are caught in a vortex of plummetting self-esteem as they get older.
This has a huge ripple effect. Not only is their self-esteem constantly eroded, but because they feel less attractive, they feel less sexually desirable. It's a totally wrong assumption, perpetuated as much by women themselves as by society.
Such "brainwashing" is illustrated by the results of a recent study conducted by Dr. Patricia Barthalow Koch, an associate professor of biobehavioural health and women's studies at Penn University.
DISSATISFACTION
The study was an overall look at women's health including all areas of sexuality and studied 307 mostly white, heterosexual women aged 35-55.
When it came to body image, 21% of the women could not think of even one attractive feature they had, reporting an overall sense of dissatisfaction with their bodies. They particularly disliked their stomachs, hips, thighs and legs, but Dr. Koch says the majority of negative body image was because they perceived themselves as overweight.
The study also showed that the more a woman saw herself as less attractive, the more likely she was to report a decline in sexual desire or activity.
Two-thirds of the women said either they wanted sex less often than 10 years ago or that they had sex less often.
This isn't at all surprising. When a woman doesn't feel desirable, she often isn't. It's a vicious cycle based mostly on the fear men won't want sex with them because they don't match up to today's youth-oriented "desirable" standards.
However, in a phone interview, Dr. Koch was adamant not all the results from the survey were negative.
"A third of the women surveyed felt as attractive (as they were 10 years ago) and 16% felt more attractive. These are obviously women who have overcome the negative messages," she says.
Dr. Koch points out that many of these women stated they felt more free, more self-confident, more passionate and more satisfied as sex was "better than ever" with their partners.
"Even if they don't have partners or a sexual life though, many older women lead full lives," she says. "They focus their attention on other things they feel are more important than their body image and sexuality. Body image fears recede when it's no longer so important."
But she says she realizes ageism is "alive and well. It's still thought older women shouldn't be 'sexual,' " she says, "which is ridiculous. But this is changing, thanks to the women themselves who are becoming more self confident."
You bet.
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