So today is the first day I can actually weigh on my special digital scale without sending it into the flashing dashes it displays when the weigher is too heavy for it, and that means I've lost about 60 pounds since the first of the year.
I've gone from bull walrus to elephant seal. This is good.
Being able to track the actual poundage is helpful from the standpoint that sometimes the evidence from one week to another isn't exactly compelling that I'm moving in the right direction, and it's amazing how quickly one becomes accustomed to the positive change, to the extent that the former condition blurs into unawareness. A concrete number on the scale, every couple of weeks or so, gives me a signpost on the journey and allows me to set incremental goals which are helpful when the overarching plan becomes too abstract or overwhelming.
What makes me incredibly happy about it is that this slow-but-sure ramp up (ramp down?) has been relatively easy. Nothing too severe. Yes, I've pretty much eliminated flour, sugar and most dairy products, and to say that it was easy would be understating it just a touch, but the rest of it is due to being kind to myself - shopping for nourishing food, preparing meals in advance, getting enough sleep, swimming around in the beautiful pool.
In short, I'm letting myself love myself.
- Simple "duh" things like putting on my seatbelt every time I get in the car.
- Extra "aah" things like adding a couple minutes to each shower just to revel in the pleasure of the hot, steamy environment, to move it from just a utilitarian function to a calming respite.
- Nice "oooh" things like having something delicious waiting for me in the fridge so I can avoid the fast food booby traps on the ride home.
- Sensual "mmmm" things like lavishly spreading Olay Regeneriste all over my face at bedtime.
I may be remedial when it comes to self-love but I'm learning fast. As corny as it seems, my life is like Whitney Houston's in reverse - I've gone from a crack-like haze to finding "The Greatest Love of All." All I need is a pair of kick-ass earrings!
2 comments:
Congrats! Glad to hear you are doing so well. It is never ending, isn't it? But hey, I guess that's what life is all about - learning and growing. I like what you said about being kind to yourself. It's amazing how much simpler a "challenge" can be when you look at it and yourself with kindness and compassion.
Ben
Thanks, Ben! Your words of understanding are meaningful to me. Take care, Stevie
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